2.25.2012

be still. (it's harder than it sounds)

lately, i've been having this feeling of waiting.
i am not sure for what.
it just seems like there is a new season right around the corner.

for the last eight years i feel like i have been running and running and just trying to keep up with babies and toddlers and tiny needy children.
children that need me to carry them and wipe them up and wash them off and read things to them and tell them what to do and physically move their bodies out of harms way.
that is what my job has been and that has created a routine of busy-ness.
in between those mommy jobs, i've thrown in the activities that express the part of me that is not a only a mommy.
sewing, photographing, creating, blogging, reading, thinking, praying(in my own way), caring for myself.
and all these things, in their right place, have done me such good.
i am a woman of waves.
i will go through a phase of sewing and sewing and just having to get that out of my system.
and i will go though a phase of blogging every day and it will feel like therapy to my soul.
and i will go through a wave of reading and read 5 books in a month and it will help my mind to rest (yes that is what reading does for me).

and now, i feel like i'm waiting.
like there is something new coming.
i feel like this year might bring me a new understanding of worship.
and while i am starting to wrap my mind around the idea that
all the things listed above ARE worship (when i have an attitude of humility and service to the Lord, in them) i feel like I may be on the edge of growing even more in this area.

there are always lots of things that i could just jump into.
ministries, groups, studies, projects, ideas....
but i just know that i need to slow down and space things out.
teach myself how to not have to do 75 things at once (like you HAVE to do when you have tiny children).
remember how to have a conversation with eye contact.
re-teach myself how to prioritize tasks and make a reasonable plan for my day with out the crazy juggling of sippy cups and diapers.

i know that sounds wierd.
shouldn't things become easier and simpler?
but it's really just a new rhythm that needs to be learned.
often, well-meaning mommy's of older kids will warn you that "it just gets busier and more stressful with more activities and homework" and while that may be true( in a way), i also don't like the idea that my family will be flying out of control as if we don't make choices everyday about what to do with ourselves.
i want to remember to slow down and take note that we can choose what we will do with ourselves.
and choosing one thing means not choosing another.

there are things we can't choose.
loosing a loved one or a job or a home or maybe even a relationship.
and those sorrows will come.
how else will God call you to himself and show you that you need saving?
so, for me, i need to ration out the sanity.
i need to save the dramatic juggling and surviving for those days.
and today obey by lil' sister's tattoo and be still.
it's harder than it sounds, people.

"i will wait on the lord...i will hope in him.


here am i and the children the lord has given me!"


{isaiah 8:17-18}

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25 comments:

  1. yes, it is hard.
    i just wrote about being still and how He is the only One that can calm my storms, if i allow Him in.
    life was just too crazy and i forgot i wasn't looking up enough.
    new seasons are right around the corner.
    exciting, isn't it?
    but it's still hard to wait.

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  2. Shauna, I stumbled across your blog a couple of months ago (probably from a Pinterest link of your kitchen - gorgeous, by the way) and I was really taken with your style, your photography. I think one of the first posts that I read was the one about worship and music. I was so happy to read of your love for God, your desire to follow him. You are such a beautiful person. I was talking about that post just last night with my husband, talking about worship. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I am currently still in the throws of "tiny children", but I can really relate with what you have said about choosing what we allow into our lives. I feel the same way. I think all too many people in this world just let life run away with them and they never slow down - always filling up their lives and the lives of their children with every new sport and activity. Good things, but not the Best. Again, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I really enjoy reading your blog and your perspective.

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  3. Been thinking along these same lines myself. decided a few weeks ago to try a sortof Sabbath rest on Sunday. along with minimal house upkeep i decided to take a break from technology so i could be a little more focused on worship. in two weeks i have discovered that i distract myself by cleaning and being online. my little ones seemed to really thrive on my resting presence. i got a little overwhelmed. the cleaning is getting done on Saturday and while everyone grumbles it makes me half sane on Sunday. anyways just totally related to this post. being still is HARD!!!!

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  4. Wonderful post, Shauna. Very encouraging!

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  5. Being still is a discipline, it takes practice. Over the years with busy babies underfoot I've learned how I can find a stillness in my soul, despite the busy of children. Now, I'm in a new season and like you feel like I'm waiting, and quietly listening while being still in the process. As hard as it is, there's excitement in that waiting because I can sense that God is up to something.

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  6. Being still is a discipline, it takes practice. Over the years with busy babies underfoot I've learned how I can find a stillness in my soul, despite the busy of children. Now, I'm in a new season and like you feel like I'm waiting, and quietly listening while being still in the process. As hard as it is, there's excitement in that waiting because I can sense that God is up to something.

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  7. Beautiful post, Shauna. I'm a fairly new reader and I've been going through your archives "catching up" so to speak. Your faithfulness is such an inspiration!

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  8. I have a print of this verse in my classroom, right behind my desk. "Be still and know that I am God." Having words/scripture visible really helps me...they remind me of what I should be doing.
    How right you are that its not easy though. Have a lovely Sunday!

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  9. I don't know if I can find the right words to adequately express how close to home this hit for me and still keep this a short blog comment. It's a weird thing to make being still & waiting a priority isn't it? But the Lord has commanded us, not politely suggested to us but commanded us to do those things. Wait on Him, be still before Him, rest in Him. He knows we need that because that's how He made us.
    Thanks for sharing this!

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  10. this is my favorite post of yours ever. words plus photos and the way those all weave together is so so lovely.

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    1. Well Miss Shauna- I just had to tell you how much your silhouette looks like your mom..your feet too! If you only could have heard the many "kitchen conversations" with your mom and our friends when you and Nate were little. We wrestled too -a popular book of the day was "The Tyranny of the Urgent". Entering into His rest is the continual journey of our life here on earth. It is only in this life that we have the opportunity to live in the evidence of things not seen....we have the choice to experience a moment by moment Sabbath in the midst of whatever circumstances we find ourselves in. So wish I had a better grasp of this at your age, but that's not how it works! The very slow lesson He has taught me over the years is the awareness that I can choose to rest in Him...still learning- love you!

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  11. Great post!! I wrestle with dreading the days ahead when my kids get older and into school and I get pulled from one sports practice to another play date, etc. But, it's about making choices, right?! I worry that when we tell them no to some "traveling soccer team" because it interferes with family time or our small group night, that they will be frustrated by that. But, in the end pursuing each other and learning how to grow in relationship with Jesus each and every day trumps all of that. I'm about ministering to their souls even more then I am at being their social coordinator or personal planner. I want to hear God in every season and have wisdom from Him about what to pursue and what to say NO to...I want my boys to learn this lesson as well. Because things God does not want us to take up in this season...will only bring weariness and striving..

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  12. Shauna...wow..this is such a meaningful post and it hit my heart hard. everday i try to "be still" I only have one little one still at home, but he pulls me in every direction and I feel blessed when I get to read one line of scripture during the day. Crazy thing though, my 18 year old has become so needy, that he is pulling on me now too...I know the Lord has plans for me and its just a season, but it is so hard to just "be still". thank you for always sharing your heart.

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  13. LOVE this.....it is so SO refreshing to hear - a vulnerable heart with an honest message and reminder to ME....BE. STILL.

    THANK YOU for this reminder. this sweet post. Excited to read about your evolution/revelation of how the Lord will direct your stillness.

    xoxo

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  14. I just found your blog a few weeks ago when someone posted a link to your "No heat curls" {which by the way I can't wait to try!} and I've been reading ever since and catching up on past posts. I really love the way you portray life through your writing and your photographs. Thanks for the great reading :) ~gina

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  15. i love your words.
    i think i'm in the same sort of a season right now.
    it's strange...but i think i'm beginning to embrace it.

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