lots of you have asked.
(lots of you haven't asked.)
i also ask myself this question all the time.
why am i doing it?
it's not like i couldn't really benefit from a few hours of quiet everyday.
we all know i love silence.
i am not anti-public school.
i am not anti-private school.
i am not anti-social settings (well maybe sometimes).
i like people.
my kids like people.
so here is my place.
right now, my place just for today.
i started teaching them in hawaii from (in my mind) necessity.
it started with me thinking, "i really don't think i can handle this, but i'm going to try. I'm going to do it anyway".
and it somehow (surprisingly for me) turned into me liking it!
i realized so many things about myself and my children.
i started learning things with them.
we read the little house on the prairie series.
they begged for next chapter after next chapter.
my mind had never really wrapped around the story of our country, but we all read our history book and were inspired with patriotism as our founding fathers wrestled with the declaration of independence.
we learned and cringed over their first exposure to the horrors of slavery.
we talked and discussed wars and national struggles.
we hugged little bodies when math was so so incredibly hard and helped them realize that they truly must try again.
i watched them get mad when i edited first drafts of papers.
i smiled and kept my chin up after more anger at the second draft edit.
i sighed as they REALIZED that that's just how you do it. It's NEVER perfect the first time. or the second. or even the third.
i read journal entry after journal entry and watched them morph and from crumpled, mis-spelled fragments to confident strong strokes of hilarity.
i started by doing parent led art projects and watched their love for artistically expressing themselves (through whatever art supplies we had lying around) become part of our daily lives.
they pretend all day long.
they argue, but then they work out problems on their own.
they have responsibilities.
they are getting older and their chores and jobs really do help me and make our home a place i want to be.
i could go on and on, but i think you get the picture.
our family dynamic completely changed.
and now we live in a place that has many many good school options. public, private, charter…you can send them anywhere you want.
i was ready to do that.
but, now i have to ask myself if i even want to?
is that best?
i mean, it might be nice.
the good part would be to have quiet space.
to be able to think on my own.
to be able to have a little bit of time for myself.
but in thinking about those good parts, i sometimes forget to think about the challenges of putting my kids back into (possibly 3 different) schools.
i don't really need to do a list do i?
(homework, teacher's ideas, fast paced schedules, social dynamics….)
the challenges aren't impossible.
i'm not afraid.
i just add up the pros and cons on both sides, for US and…..
i pick school at home.
and let me add, so do my kids.
if they were begging to try out school, i don't think i'd say no.
i'd let them go.
i am not interested in forcing this.
i don't think homeschooling is the key to life.
in fact those that do are the reason i hesitate to get involved with homeschool groups.
(even though I DID just sign up for one to start into in the fall…pray for me)
we are all just figuring out this parenting gig.
no one is an expert.
our story is different from yours and homeschool fits for us.
reedo travels a lot. and we have been asked to move around a bit and that part of our story probably isn't over.
the homeschooling works with that.
if i have to follow verizon wireless around the country so that my husband can provide for me staying home and being the mom to our children, then i don't need teachers and principals and schedules in the mix too.
i start to feel too smothered.
and when i know i can just teach them myself and that it is actually great for us, is there really any other choice?
is there something ELSE that i ought to do?
i don't think so.
for now, this is my place.
i am always looking for my humble place.
and this is it today.
ask me again tomorrow.