playdates and a friendly little reminder

playdates have been on my mind.

but wait, back up.
i really love to share, with you, my thoughts.
you, that one person that needs to hear what i'm writing.
i know when i claim to not care about numbers on my blog, you don't believe me.
and it's not like i NEVER get sucked into competition.
but the real, deep down me does this blog in hopes that just one person might remember that they're not alone.
to inspire just one person to see beauty in their lives by looking for it instead of looking through it.


that's what my pictures are about.
there are plenty of sad, lame, hard, embarrassing things happening with me every time i take a photograph, but i am choosing to focus on the beauty in front of me instead of that crap.
just for a minute.
then back to life.
and alot of the "crap" just isn't sharable.
i'm sure you know what i'm talking about, right?
most of it involves another person and i don't have the right to blab about them or our relationship.
my kids, my husband, my friends, my siblings, my dad...there is a story happening with all of them and me....but all of it isn't sharable.


i can share about my mom because she can't reprimand me anymore


so just my quarterly reminder that you MAY NOT get tricked into thinking my life is COMPLETELY made up of baby chicks and vinagey surfer girl moments.


so.
playdates.
i've never loved them.
i haven't had many real playdates.
i mean, i've had plenty of the ones that are  just MY friends coming over with their kids.
but the ones where you don't really know the mom very well and you are just inviting the kid over since he/she is the same age as your kid....those....
well, i happen to think that those aren't really necessary.
i mean, especially if your kids are super little.
soon enough they will be in school with giant groups of their peers.
(grouping children according to their age is kinda bizarre , right?)
have you ever had a family over that has kids about the same age as yours?
i have.
and most of the time the kids find children that are the same age as their siblings.
it's funny.

i happen to like being at home with just my kids.
they sometimes fight and we HAVE to get out for a while, but lots of the time there is a fine balance that one other person can really just disturb.
do i sound anti-social?
i don't mean to say we don't need to hang out with other people, i just am trying to say that you shouldn't stress if you don't feel like you want to do it all the time.
i have talked to a couple moms lately that seem like they think they should do more of that for thier kids and feel sorta bad about not wanting to.
so i am here to tell you...
let. it. go.
if you have extra energy to spare use it to plan some "mommy playdates"(you know, lady dates, like a movie and dinner or shopping with a friend)
i am SURE that is way more needed than trying to make 4 year old interact nicely.

once your little guy is in preschool you start to see how there are some moms that are keeping thier little children constantly interacting with other kids and you may feel pressure to do it too.
don't.

my boys have always had each other, so i know i've been sorta spoiled.
playdates have been sorta sad for them since it just means that one brother is waiting all day for time with the other one, just to find out that his best pal is super into "random kid's" program instead.
it more work for me and is it really needed?
really?
he was just at school all day!
with that kid.


ella is my last child (as far as i know;)
and i have stressed the least about "socializing" her.
she has VERY FEW friends that are her age.
she plays with her brothers everyday.
and me.
and in a few weeks (deep breath)
she will start preschool (deep breath)
and will learn to get along with children that are her peers.

(and i will be alone for a few hours a week.
all alone.
leaving behind this phase of "child attached at the hip every moment."
it'll happen for you too.)

she'll be fine.
she has had a good life before preschool.
carted around after her brothers activities...but still she is very well adjusted.
with very few baby girl "playdates" to speak of.
and when she is NOT at preschool this year i will be soaking up those last few days that i have as a mother of preschoolers.
no other kids aloud.
just me and ella.

so there is my two cents about that subject and also a bit of my story so far in this journey of motherhood.
how bout you?
do you have input or experience in this area?
do you like playdates?
do you think i am a crazy woman?
do you want to shield your kids form my "un-socialized" monsters?
ha.