i remember the moment
almost ten years ago
when i saw that plus sign on that pregnancy test.
and then thought, wait.....plus means yes, pregnant?
...or yes not pregnant....(can you say denial?)...
or....oh my gosh....oh....my....gosh!
i can't forget those first few minutes when i was realizing that my cute reedo was a daddy
...and he was completely unreachable.
i mean really.
he was in another country, and i wouldn't see him for days.
yah, that was torture.
i didn't know what he'd feel.
i knew he'd be...not ready.
that's how i felt too....not ready.
but are you ever REALLY ready for this journey called fathering?
and if you think you are, aren't you maybe an idiot?
but, ready or not, this guy has become an amazing dad,
his children love him.
they can't wait to be around him.
he's not perfect, but i know he is just the dad that God will use to draw Jake, Ty and Ella to Himself.
the strengths and the weaknesses of my reedo will have a part in our kid's lives.
With God's help, he is perfect for them.
and i am blessed to have him as my children's father.
and by the way,
when i did get to tell him
(i pulled over the car before i could even make it home from picking him up from the airport)
he did just what he was supposed to.
he stared at those tiny little baby socks that i handed him as a clue.
and then he hugged me while i cried.