fading summer sun. photography rhythm and expectations.

we are finally wrapping up summer.

i'm starting to feel a bit crispy from being in the sun.

i'm starting, prematurely, to think about fall leaves and pumpkins.

as usual.

and although we have probably two more months of heat around here, we are heading to target for new school shoes and backpacks.

but this summer, at the beach, in bend, and just doing our daily routine has really offered me photo inspiration.

i am almost a little overwhelmed by it.

i have to pace myself.

but i have started to learn myself and my own rhythm as a photographer.

i've learned that i have to give myself space between shooting and editing.

usually i go home and look at my photos right away and am pretty disappointed.

even panicked.

i think, "oh no! they went to all this trouble to get their families to this shoot, and i ruined it!"

i think its over exposed or my camera was acting up or it's under exposed or i didn't catch good expressions or there is always someone with their eyes half closed....or whatever.

but if i give it a week or even a few weeks, i go back with a less critical eye and i realize!

it may not have been exactly my expectation, but it is THEM!

so i guess the time is giving me a chance to let go of my original vision and have room for what actually happened.

the hard part for me is to accept that the family(and by that i mean the mother) probably needs that time too.

i mean, i'm a mother.

i realize that you visualize your ideal family time a certain way and then can sorta be surprised when it looks a little different.

i've had two family photo shoots with my favorite photographer, joy, and both times the hardest part is accepting how i look.

i KNOW what my husband and kids look like and they are amazing!

but me?

i look like that?

my vanity can distract me from seeing how amazing a photo is!

oh gosh!

how embarrassing!

so i guess the theme of this post is expectations.

expectations are part of a photo shoot.

we need a plan, of course.

but, it seems the real success comes in letting those expectations go....

sigh.

i'll do my best to keep working on that.

with that said, here is a little series of photographs i took of ella in gracie's backyard.

she was dancing and singing in the evening light on our last night in bend.

i just couldn't pass it up.
(and can you see how at first i could have thrown these out? some are a little out of focus or not perfect. but after a little time i can see that they are beautiful and warm and real! that's the point! to capture real things!)