thirty one years ago my life changed forever.
i became a big sister.

when i was almost 2 years old, my sister Valerie was born.

and i had a playmate for the rest of my life!

we did everything together.

and if you don't believe me....i can show you!

 we dressed alike and held hands and had the same friends and played with the same toys for a long long time!
i am so blessed to have had her in my life.
can you see where i get my love for taking pictures of my kids!?

valley girl. 

i am so glad you were born!

you are a shining star!

paris dreams

today i'm dreaming of paris.
and it may not be completely unfounded, since i get to visit soon!
i am going to have the chance to travel there with reedo, for a work trip!
i've never been there.
I've never even been anywhere near there!
have you?
any advise?
this is what i am thinking so far (remember i dream in pictures)....

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i am really getting excited.
me and my cute husband off exploring!
oh lord! help me to be able to relax and not just stress about my kids!

a grouchy lady edits pictures...

i did it.

i organized and edited my photos from bend.

sigh.

one thing checked off my list.

but, you should know that ella was in her dress up princess costume all day.

that includes two trips to walmart (gag),

three to the elementary school,

and two fast food restaurants...yep two.

i didn't wear make up or do my hair...at all.

i had that funny head scarf thing on all day.

i also wore head to toe navy blue.

i have nothing against navy, it's just the head to toe part thats kinda depressing.

i was grouchy today.

so give yourself a pat on the back if you smiled a lot today, you did better than i did.

i told the kids that i was in a bad mood.

i thought it would be a good example.

you know? to model just admitting it and asking for some extra understanding?

jake just asked seven hundred and twenty eight questions about why i was in a bad mood....yep....that didn't really help much.

it may have made it just a tad worse.

but it did make me stop and try to figure out what made me grouchy...i think i may be getting sick...that's what i came up with.

my trip to bend was really so great.

i had some super special time with my sisters.

we even went to a little town CALLED sisters.

perfect.

it had antique shops and a fabric store.

plus a little market that had fountain diet coke(hard to find around there).

we each got one and then there was this little spinner at the front counter and if you spun the slot that said "free drink" you got it free...

we spun two free drinks and it was as if someone had won the lottery...

val yelled and i wooped.(i was not in a bad mood that day)

the guy behind the counter had the giantess smile and we all agreed it was gonna be one of the best memories form our trip...

those two free 99cent drinks...

sisters also had a cute little ice cream shop with cool floors...

here are things i saw in bend...

one evening val and i went for a walk by the deschutes river.

it was so perfect.  the lighting and the loveliness....

grace and i did some exploring too...

she is a goof ball.

but i finally got to photograph so real clouds...i have a lack of real clouds in california, so i loved finding these...

grace is like reedo, she doesn't shy away from the camera, but she doesn't pose either...or make weird faces (like i do).

i kinda go crazy when they are both just hangin out letting me snap away...

they love me.

we got lots of good time with grace and her boyfriend tom and that was so happy to me.

my favorite.

and then we were home.

bam.
can it really be over?

(i have tried and tried to fix the weird funky "text on the side thing" and i don't know whats happening with blogger right now...it won't let me fix it....that doesn't help my mood.... %$@#$ blogger! didn't you get the memo that i am grouchy!??)

bend

ok so here's my real deal.
i only have so many words.
i am incredibly exhausted in that area right now.
for a combination of reasons.
but I also know that I can count on you friends to work with me give me some grace for a lack of words.
so here is part one of my spring 2011 bend trip.
the minimal words version.
enjoy.
i am confident that my words will return soon(ish).

a special treat

hi friends!
i am in bend.
bonding away with my sweetie pie sisters....
and yesterday we even got to sing at my gracie girl's church!
o sisters!


Grace Laxson and Sisters :: Down in the River to Pray from Antioch Church on Vimeo.

my sisters are so beautiful to me
hope you are all well...
when i get home it's gonna be like christmas catching up on on the blog posts and pintrest updates!

xo (wink wink)

my sisters.

{we really need some updated photos of the three of us.
this was two years ago.
but we have a sister's weekend coming up, so.....}

i have two sisters.

grace and valerie.

they are different, but they both have characteristics that completely remind me of my mom.

they both have been God's love to me at one time or another in these last years.

they have loved me.

they have needed me.

they have trusted me.

they have questioned my decisions.

they have each had a special roll in my life.

grace was 14 when we lost our mom.

she needed me and i really needed to try to help her.

i really needed do my part to help take care of her as best i could.

i was a few months away form giving birth to my first born son.

i was the newest of mothers.

she had just lost her mother.

that created a serious bond. through sisterly love and circumstances.

there is no way to describe what it did for me to have that bond with my sister in the months right after loosing our mother.

there is no way to describe the bond that was created between she and Jake, my newborn son.

the only thing i can think of is that it was not a worldly thing.

it was a blessing from Jesus' compassion and understanding of our pain.

He was comforting me, and gracie, too, i think.

i will never be the same.

gracie will always have a big chunk of my heart.

and that is all a result of my mom leaving this world for her home earlier than we thought.

( i must remember this. i must remember that God's ways aren't my ways)

{look at those sweet eyes! i can't even take it! i start to cry if i stare at um....i love  her so much.}

valerie came home from the middle of her time at college when my mom was clearly in her last chapter of her life.

she was the only sister who had spent time away from our area, thus far.

although that distance may pull on her heart, now.

i can see that it gave her a unique strength, that grace and i hadn't developed.

i think it was independence.

her independence has been a blessing and an example to me.

when hard family times have been hashed up (i know this happens to everyone) she has been clearheaded and wise.

when hearts had been broken and Cindie's family was lonely, Valerie didn't seem frazzled by trying to manage everyone, like i felt inclined to be.

i am not saying that everything was completely smooth for her, i am just saying that she had characteristics that i lacked and i looked to her example and was reminded of my mother.

it is hard to describe how it feels to have this girl on your team.

she's a fighter.

and she is very loyal.

yah, so you really want her on your side.

{i think we both look like our grandma betty in this photo, my little sis is so beautiful to me.
and if you are wondering who is older, the answer is the one with more wrinkles around the eyes....yep.}

so there you have it.

God's love was not lost because i lost my mother.

it was still (and still is) goin' strong.

valerie and gracie are his hands and heart and sassy come backs and honest questions and acts of kindness and loyal support and wise input and, and....well i could go on and on.

thank you GOD!

ps. to see all of my may mother's day tribute posts click here.

a few of my.....

favorites things.
i was inspired{once again} by heather.
she shared a few of her favorites over on her blessed little nest.
her things are....perfect.
here are mine.


this is number one right now.
check out this hilarious video.
my little sister, gracie, comes in half way through it.
i think you will be able to tell which girl is my sis,
since she looks like a 10 years younger(and just a tad cuter) version of me.
she is so. flippin. cute.
my heart hurts watching her cuteness and not being able to be near her for the first christmas EVER .
EVER, since she was born.
i know she is where she ought to be, but still, ouch.
(make sure you stop my mixpod, in the sidebar, before you watch the video)




ella has discovered that the auto timer on my camera can make for a fun game with mommy!
yah! a photo loving girly friend!

i love snuggling with these people in the mornings.
these last few days i have got in a lot of that.

this is my favorite ornament this year.
my little sister valerie sent it to me.
this is the first year that i am away from her for christmas too!
crazy huh?
it's a big year for us.
learnin' how to have a christmas without each other.
it's hard.

my reedo's mom and dad have been visiting and it is mom's birthday right before chistmas.
both of her sons asked me to make a floral gift for her.
did you know that i was a floral designer before i was a blogging mommy?
this is what i came up with.
the flowers cost $30 at trader joes.
i sorta wish i'd made myself one too...

i think this may be my new all time favorite picture i have taken of Jacob.

it makes my heart stand still when i look at his eyes perched over his amazing freckles.

and now, to top it off, his toothless grin.

sigh.

my favorite place to eat lately is cafe rio.
and i have a little lady friend who likes it too.
plus kids get FREE quesadillas there...score!

(see ella's face up there?

that face is because she saw a baby.

have i told you that Ella does NOT like babies?

if she see's one she sticks her tongue out at it.

isn't that darling....my sweet little princess.

well, she saw a baby and stuck her tongue at him and then was pointing me out to this tiny little 5 month old bundle( in his carrier) and telling him, "that's MY mom, see her over there? MY mom"

this girl cracks me up.

every day.

so,

when i am feeling sad, i simply remember my favorite things....

and then i don't feel so bad!