i should be at the gym.

my morning is going badly.
first of all, i should tell you that i worked my tail off to get our house ready for daddy/kid weekend.
every piece of laundry done.
oral reading prepared with Jake.
the house relatively clean ( i have a husband who cares about that)
food in the fridge and ready to make.
lunches and snacks packed.
THEN i got to pack.
but when i woke up this morning i was greeted with a surprise 911 folder in Jake's backpack.
filled with 5 (got that, five) sheets of work that needed to be turned in.
plus, he had won a munchie party which meant i had got to provide 12 individually wrapped snacks for the kids at Jake's table...yesssss.
i rushed around,
throwing yogurt cartons at people and cutting up kiwi.
SLOWLY dictating a painful final draft of new years resolutions.
ignoring (or trying to) whiny voices.
i THOUGHT i had planned everything out so that i could go to the gym after drop off.
then reedo came into the picture with new ideas for how we should swap cars and car seats...
then he needed my hair dryer that i had already packed.
then we were kinda mean to each other.
then i was yelling at tiny people.
then i through up my hands and said, "maybe i just won't go to the gym...."
then reedo rolled his eyes at me (i think)
then i took the boys to school.
then i tried to rush back and make up with my reedo, but he was already driving away so we had a short exchange with our windows rolled down about how he is trying to help me by watching the kids this weekend. tight smiles and goodbye.....
then i tried to go to the gym anyway and realized that my gym pass was on MY keys(and reedo and i have switched cars).
then i realized i didn't have the 4 bucks that the childcare room costs, for ella....
then she cried since she loves the playroom at the gym.
then we drove home and i turned on shrek (she calls it "check")
and i stalked up to the shower.
fun, huh?
i know i should be so glad that i am going on a trip...but right now i just feel mad and sad and tired and regretful and frustrated.
it's like i need a do over but i don't even know if that would help cause i would still be me.
i'd still suck at juggling.
my brain can only handle so many things in it and i got completely overloaded.
it SEEMS like some people's brains hold more than mine.
that makes me feel dumb.
and mad.
just thought you should know.....
i should be at the gym.