it must have felt like she had been holding her breath and then suddenly exposed to that perfect heavenly air, she may have gasped it in....his face and the weight lifted....there is a part of me that longs for it as soon as possible.
but there is another that knows i am called to cherish these days that i have with those i love.....
today was a cherished day.
i went to church. (amazing)
i had lunch with my husband and kids. (so fun)
my husband brought me flowers. (smile)
my friend brought me hoop art and dessert. (um. double yum)
and my first born son-turned gentleman came with me to the point where my mom's ashes were scattered, in the ocean, all those years ago.
(remember i go every year? this was last year)
he came as my son.
and he came as my friend.
he wasn't needy.
he was generous.
my heart swells and my eyes fill just thinking of him.
before we left, i warned him that i might cry.
he said, "that's ok mom"
i told him i'd try not to be too embarrassing.
he said "don't worry about that, the other people will understand that you are missing your mom"
i told him that there probably wouldn't be anyone else there.
he said, "well, i won't mind"
what a friend.
what a son.
what a God.
here are some iphone photos from my perspective:
when i started to loose it, he kissed me on the head.
and said, "don't worry mom, at least you have a family"
be. still. my. heart.
and here are some iphone photos from the eyes of my jake:
he insisted on taking the below photo of the "mickeymouse" shaped rock combo for ella and ty...
"Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think,
according to the power that works in us,
to Him be the glory.....throughout all ages."
Ephesians 3:20-21
sister...you just made me soak my In-n-Out cheeseburger with tears. My parents do not know the Lord and I pray every day that they will before they pass away. Your pictures are incredible even with your Iphone...you are gorgeous !!! I especially love the close up pic of you with your hair blowing in your face. Jake is quite the smart and compassionate little young man. Many blessings to you.
ReplyDeleteAll my love on another anniversary of losing your precious mother. Heaven becomes more and more precious and desired to me with each loss of a loved one. xoxo
ReplyDeleteShauna, I miss your mom so much! There was no one qiuite like her and I look forward to worshipping with her in heaven. You are so much like and she would be so very proud of you and your kids. Love and hugs! Lisa Carden
ReplyDeleteyour mom was with you and your guy today. i can see her in those photos. my heart is melting from the compassion and love that your guy's heart is full of. xoxo to you today friend. you are in my heart and my prayers.
ReplyDeletei miss your mom too, and miss that i never knew her. even for me, there is a little tiny piece that seems missing in our overlapping journeys. love you.
ReplyDeleteWhat a dear. i feel that God uses the innocence if children to speak His comforting words to us. God knew what He was doing when he put you two together. Thanks for sharing something so vulnerable.
ReplyDeletei can't imagine how hard it must be... missing your mom, wishing she was a part of your life. i'm so sorry it's something you have to deal with. but i am so thankful that we can be confident in where your mom is now. and i'm so happy that you can find these little 'glimpses' of heaven, if you will, in the eyes of your beautiful children. hugs to you as you mourn your mom... and hugs to you as you continue on your own path of motherhood. such a beautiful post... you got me all teary eyed!
ReplyDeletei love this so much. so often grief in our society is hidden - especially from children. what a great thing that your son can watch you grieve in a healthy, Godly way, to see real emotion. what a special thing to share with him as well.
ReplyDeleteand how lovely that he got a few shots of you during those special moments. memories made for sure.
Much love to you and your amazing gentleman of a son.... I am proud of you and I know your Mom is too. GL
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for sharing this, Shauna. What a sweet companion your son is! (Reminds me of my own, who told me recently, "It's ok, Mom. We don't have to talk about it right now," when I tried to explain Mom's brain cancer to him and couldn't stop crying.) God is so good.
ReplyDeleteOh goodness. Moments like this are stuff you carry in your heart with you forever. How amazing to get to have the faith and hope that you do, to believe in something better than this world. I love Sara Groves song, "Going Home" she has a line that talks about how you are never to young to think about going home. I love it. I can't wait to go home and be with those who we have already let go.
ReplyDeleteand that made me tear up. what a sweet boy you've raised. actually, what a sweet gal your mother raised... love to you.
ReplyDeletethank you for sharing this precious moment with us. have you read heaven is for real? i think you would like it. every time you write i think, "we are alike!"
ReplyDeleteblessings and love from afar and always.
shauna, this is so beautiful. i am tearing up here in my bed. what a precious tribute to your mom and a precious mother and son bond. love you friend.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful. may your memories be sweet.
ReplyDeletesandy toe
Such a treasured memory you just made with your son, all while reliving the ones made with your mom. This post is precious!
ReplyDeleteI found you via pinterest, actually. I think it was colored starbucks bottles? ;) That brought me here, and this beautiful story will keep me here. I am in tears. I am amazed at how people - ones we don't even know - can simply touch you via a blog entry. What a blessing you have in your little man .. I look forward to reading more. You have a beautiful family, home, and most importantly, a beautiful love for Our Lord. God Bless!!
ReplyDelete