birthday and everyday.

this is an add that was released on the year i was born.

1979

look at those stylish people making a "spam sandwich".

wow.

just wow.

thank you all so much for the sweet birthday wishes!
i have some really great blog friends.
i feel very blessed.

my birthday was great.
like, monday great.

yah, does that confuse you?
what i mean is, that it was monday and it was my birthday and it was the first day back to 7:45 drop off at school, after spring break and it was....just a normal day of my life.

but, aren't birthdays funny?
there is something inside that wants that certain day to be a perfect representation of all the good in your life.
and then there is reality.
and even if you have a good grasp on that....you still are hoping for something...else.
i think we can be tempted to put that hope onto other people, other unsuspecting fellas living their lives, skipping along in their own little worlds and (lets face it) not really that focused on making this the best day of your life.

well, the one person that is the most likely to make the birthday happiness happen is...you.
yah yah, i know i sound cheesy, like "you control your own destiny and loving yourself is the greatest love of all".
that isn't really what i mean though.

i mean, that on my birthday i decided to be happy.
i had my normal chores and responsibilities i just skipped the stuff that brought me down.
now, that seems simple, but it is hard to do.
if you have tried it you know.
there are MANY things that can get me down on any given day.
bad attitudes, complaining, busyness, presumptuousness, insecurity, the feeling of needing to please everyone, listening to my own annoyed voice, forgetting my place in the world and trying to take someone else's....yah the list could go on for.ever.
i took up grace as my companion on my birthday and just let the negativity roll off.
and i am telling you, it really worked.

i got up really early.
put on a pretty white dress.
i dropped off the boys.
i went to the gym.(oh wait, i guess thats when i put on the pretty dress, up until then it was gym clothes)
i chattered too long with my favorite redhead.
ella and i went to staples and the cupcake shop and cafe rio.
then i went and picked out some fat quarters at my favorite hidden fabric shop.
then picked up ty, did some laundry and packed 4 pairs of rain boots into the car.
picked up jake and took the boys to karate.
took all my kids to the wild sweet pea fields a few miles away.
and then met up with reedo for chinese food, just the 5 of us.
then ate cupcakes with them at home.

now that all seems pretty simple, but we all know that those were the activities.
there was a lot more than activities going on during that time.
all those "getting you down" things were being hurled at me and i had to bob and weave and block and even run away at times to get through a simple day in my life.
it's like a battle sometimes.

i am telling you all this in hopes that you can be inspired.
maybe you have a special day coming up.
maybe you wish that other people could make you happy that day.
that everyone will remember you and appreciate and love you just the way you need.
and you have no control over whether or not they will tune into that hope.
but you could just decide.
no matter what "they" do, that you are going to love your life.
you are going to resist the temptation to feel sorry for yourself.
that you are going to look around and not limit yourself to other people's interpretation or willingness to give.
i can vouch for it working.
not easily.
but it does work.
the key, for me, was a constant conversation with the Lord, as if He was just accompanying me on my day, chores and all.
i could feel the tension in my body rise and fall as i ignored Him for a while and then remembered He was there and gave Him my thoughts and feelings.
it is really so remarkable....
this battle i fight, with Him at my side.
i think it should be my birthday every day.