gifts in bend

i had such a sweet, restful time in bend.
there were so many gifts for me there.
it filled me up.
it filled me up with grace and joy.

say, now that i think about it, it can't be an accident that i spent this therapeutic weekend with these two beautiful ladies that are named for my greatest desires...

joy.
my special friend is such a gift.
she is so generous and i am blessed to understand a little more about her from spending four days together.
she truly does spread joy wherever she goes.
looking for beauty and finding it.

grace.
it's like fuel for my soul to be around my sister.
it jumpstarts my heart that can sometimes feel like it's forgetting how to love in that special way that we do.
i think that God has taught me a lot about love through this little lady.
i know i love her.
with that kind of love that you can't help...you couldn't stop if you tried.
but she has certainly returned that to me in an unexpectedly sweet way.
accepting me as a sister.
not expecting me to be perfect or with out mistake.
if that's not grace, for me, i don't know what is....

this coat.
joy let me wear it for a day and i felt like a queen.
(if only i had snagged it for paris....)

the weekend felt so free and i soaked up the lack of schedule and demands.

we listened to each other and i got lots of opportunity to hear both my sister and joy's hearts.
it felt like home. with both of them.
it was such a recharging time for me.

we ate.
so much good food.
i love food.

i  had heart stopping moments, on this trip, that i will never ever stop thinking about inside my soul.
i tried to capture them in photographs.
i hoped that Joy could.
but mostly i just soaked up the feeling of the golden memory.
gracie singing songs that she wrote from her own searching heart.
joy capturing her with the light streaming through the birch trees in the afternoon.
these things are fleeting and precious to me.

it's so hard to say goodbye to my sister.
i feel like deep down it will never ever be ok that she is so far away from me.
God knows my heart will never quite accept that.
it's always hoping for what could be next.

we missed our flight home .
it wasn't pretty.
i had a fit.
there were tears.
and two completely new full price one way tickets involved.
i can't dwell on that.
it was so dumb.

really.
anything is worth this picture that my special friend joy captured of my and gracie's love.
this is mine forever.
i will never forget this.

may grace and joy be with me forever....