so it's time to get real.
i am beat.
this whole "moving my family to hawaii and also learning to educate them at the same time" thing is very very hard.
i mean it.
i've never done anything like it.
there are OF COURSE beautiful things about it.
that's the way i survive.
and i'm sure the word "survive" even seems dramatic.
but that's how it feels, at times.
the way i take my life in and interpret it has become a bit wrapped up in my way of taking little still lives of the gifts sent my way.
even when it's as simple as a loaf of bread.
or tuning a guitar
we've had some good days.
we live in a beautiful place.
and those two things don't necessarily relate to each other.
we have had some pretty bad days in this beautiful place, too.
and i trust that if you or i lived in a place that we hated, god (in his mercy) could send us beauty anyway.
it's really sorta a funny deal.
to be sent to a place that a majority of people would think was a dreamy vacation.
and then feel like we're almost supposed to live a vacation to enjoy it.
we're not on vacation.
my husband has to pass the waves as he goes into his office and i have to try and remember how to do long division in front of my skeptical nine year old even though all the kids would rather be a the beach across the street.
there are so many things i need to do.
register my car
figure out where to grocery shop
find a home
do the dishes
and keep my kids from killing each other
put together christmas presents
it's just pretty crazy
so much to be grateful for and at the same time i can barely manage it.
but life goes on.
ella is becoming quite the singer and she will. not. stop.
we've had a couple recesses at the beach
yes, that's pretty great.
ella tried out the hula
the kids and i are messily figuring out how to get anything done when everyone has so many questions.
and i need to be able to do my jobs too.
we had a good weekend of exploring waikiki
despite the very high and excited expectations.
you know what i mean, right?
(there was just a very intense build up for that experience and it's probably a miracle that we survived)
today we are working extra hard so we can feel good about taking a trip to the zoo tomorrow.
and i am praying that i can just stay positive.
i am trying so hard
and i am also disciplining myself to extend myself grace.
these sweet pictures are what i want to remember and my way of acknowledging the gifts and beauty all around me, in spite of the incredible amount of work that it all is.
thanks for your encouragement.
i really need that right now.
that and a full time maid or servant or something.