2.20.2013

frame this moment

jake: mom, what day did your mom die?
me: march 20th. ten years ago.
jake: wow, that's a long time ago.
ella: did you cry and cry?
ty: ella, that's not good to ask!
me: no, that's ok. yes. i cried and cried and cried.  it was the worst day of my life. but. it was also the best day.
jake: i know why
me: (looking right in his eyes) yep. you know why. because i like to think about how right after she took her last, sick, struggling, painful breath in this world she opened her eyes in heaven. don't you think she must have gasped it in and been overwhelmed with JESUS!?

(smiles and concerned looks all around)

they bring these things up at completely unpredictable times.
it actually feels good, in a way.
since i am not as the ones without hope.
and they are validating the fact that she WAS here.
even they know it.
those moments are the real "framers"
wish i had a little joy prouty over my shoulder to capture those moments, ya know?
but i don't, so i have to know that jesus sees and he is the only one who needs to see those ones.
it does remind me, once again, how many moments just come and go and are forgotten.
how many of my mother's moments, framed in her mind, were lost as well?
will there be a day when we will be able to see them all again?
although there is part of me that feels uncomfortable with that since with those good moments come those bad ones too.
and i have certainly had my share of the later lately.
i mean, i am rarely away from my three young children, people.
you can imagine that it's not always pretty over here.
but.
i am convinced that, although i do believe in a accounting for every one of the moments i've been given, i cannot look at one moment of my life, without also seeing the GRACE of jesus' sacrifice all over it.
so that gives me hope.
that when the trumpet sounds and he calls me to meet up first with my mother and my grandmother in the clouds and then with HIM, i may be able to recover my lost moments, good and bad.
and that through God's amazing grace they will all be counted as HIS story.

so wow!
that's huge!
and it makes my constant instagramming a bit silly.
but, i do know that i am his babygirl.
that he must look at me with his fond fatherly smile and see me with my little iphone,  much as i see my children trying to please me with crayons and construction paper.
any small little thing i reach for is my simple childish imitation of what i see in Him.
i probably mostly get it wrong.
but he sees my heart.
more, he see's me though His lens of grace and my precious little attempts to figure things out are turned to his beauty!
and so, i frame the moments.
big and small.
good and bad.
and know that they will all someday be HIS story.

do you have moments that you've framed as a reminder of your own story? of you? of your children? of your family? of a perfect moment?
there are days and weeks and months that i just can't put things into words, but i can take a picture that expresses my feelings perfectly.
my mom taught me this.
she didn't use her camera, but she mentioned to me that she tried to frame a moment into her memory when she knew it was special.
so am going to start posting a "frame this moment" every wednesday.
and although i don't usually do them, i am going to include a link up.
don't feel pressure.
i am doing this for myself, but if you want to share your framed moment with me, you'll have an opportunity.

here is todays for me....

my firstborn asks to take a picture together

how 'bout scroll through your phone photos or whatever and see if you can share one with your blog followers and me.
or see if you can remember to frame a moment to share with me this next wednesday.
it might be fun!
and i 'd love to be your other set of eyes, as you have been for me.
only if you want to.
i know many people aren't bloggers.
we could also hash tag our "framers"
#framethismoment on instagram.

7 comments:

  1. sigh.
    the things kids say are so pure...they haven't been tainted by our weird societal discomforts with grief and loss. they just talk about it as it is in that very moment, and it does my heart so much good.

    i'm excited about this new challenge!

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    1. my heart too, heather. praise jesus for little ones!

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  2. i love this. beautiful encouragement. xo

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  3. I'm a big crying mess over here.
    So beautiful!

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  4. So sweet. Glad I could finally read this. I love to hear your latest workings out of your own faith in context of your current life and current moments. that is the best...to just sort through in the midst of it all, one day at a time, and listening for your daddy's voice. you know me, i'll play along with your little linkup next week. ;)

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  5. Thanks for sharing this... Your the only blog I really read and look forward to when I get a chance to sit down without the kiddos. What an encouragement! Such a sweet family the Lord has blessed you with! Keep up the good work! (I love your "frame this moment" idea!)

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  6. I currently have cancer and I worry for my children. Thank you for this! Beautiful!

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