kindness

i get overwhelmed with my job, at times.
i mean there is a lot that a mother ought to teach her children.
love,
strength,
to stand up for the under dog,
to stand up for yourself,
compassion,
personal boundaries,
how to win,
how to loose,
to respect authority,
to respect yourself,
self control,
passion,
thankfulness,
how to strive for a goal,
how to relax and let go,
how to put your nose to the grindstone,
manners,
humor,
appropriate timing,
about heaven,
forgiveness,
graciousness,
how to do laundry,
that we aren't perfect,
that being imperfect is OK,
math,
how to talk to God,
how to listen to God,
how to cook,
how to clean up after yourself,
how to battle fear,
how to understand yourself and care for yourself,
how to ask for help,
how to help yourself.....

you get the picture.
sometimes, for me, it is paralyzing.
what about you?
i mean, i want to STAND for something.
but to stand for all of that seems exhausting!

so, that's where i am right now.
i know what i believe in.
i know what my job is.
but sometimes it.....just seems so huge.

i'm not sure what else to say.
that's it.
i have no solution to this dilemma.

but i will tell you what my kids and i did with my disappointment from yesterday.
i was planning on just doing my normal deal.
sleeping in a little.
(maybe adding in a little extra self pity that i was without a husband for the day)
taking the kids to karate.
having saturday, on my own(in the parenting department), without my normal break in routine.

then i read this post.
i saw it on kimberlee's blog.

and i stared and stared and thought it was one of the coolest things i'd heard of in a while.
it inspired me.
in several ways.
(there are a few things that are beginning to spin around in my head that i will share later)
it also inspired my kids, who i called over to share the post with.
they wanted to do something like that too.
so we quickly brainstormed and decided to pass out drinks (water bottles, apple juice and gatorade) with little "be kind" notes attached as random acts of kindness.
we woke up a bit earlier than usual.
printed out the notes.
wrote personal messages on the back.
jake wrote, "kindness. pass it on." and "God bless you and your family"
ty wrote. "this is kindness"
ella wrote her name and some scribbles.
it was perfect.
we hole punched and cut yarn together and tied the tags on with some friends over bagels.
and then just started handing them out at the shopping center by our karate studio
(we also brought gatorades for all the karate students.)
it was slow going until people realized that we weren't selling anything.
just giving it away.
the kids loved it.
jake was serious about it and a bit sad when people refused the drinks.
ty went up to anyone who came by and happily blew it off when refused.
no one refused ella, and i heard her tell one lady "God bless you" just like we'd rehearsed....

i didn't take any pictures of the hand outs since i thought that might be a little weird.

but i did get a few of the preparations....

this idea didn't change the world.
we didn't save anyone's life.
it's not my new mission in life to "let no man go thirsty"...
but we changed around our weekend.
nobody cried about not getting anything new at target.
i didn't bite off more than i could chew and start yelling at people.
instead we decided to smile at people and surprise them with a small gift of kindness.
it felt great.
it felt right.
so that's where i am today.
today i worked on teaching my children kindness.
at least i can check that off my giant list....