frame this moment

this moment.
it's not that flattering.
it's not a great picture.
you know?
where you just feel like you wanta freak.
I had done everything i could do for my kids that day.
tried to teach them
tried to play with them
tried to do special things
tried to listen
tried to be so so patient
and i had nothing left
and as i sang them to sleep with the last breath in my body (i know, i know, DRAMA)
i heard the first born softly crying and telling me how it was so unfair that he had to go to bed
and that it was "baby bedtime".
baby bedtime apparently was 9:45 that night.
all i heard was "blah blah blah, what you've done for us today was not enough"
i considered screaming.
i considered kicking and punching things.
i considered crying and yelling at him.
instead i walked quietly out in the middle of my nightly lullaby
they complained.
i told them in the VERY quiet super scary voice 
that if they get out of bed one time things would get very very bad for them.

i sat down by myself against the wall and pushed down resentment that i was alone with my kids all week again.
i thought, this moment needs to be framed too.
this is real.
this just shows you that no matter how fun and patient and loving and energetic and interesting you are, it really is never enough.
i can't be everything.
people still have a choice (not naming names)
if they want to feel ungrateful there's not much i can do about it.

and then it hit me.
i do the same exact thing.
i feel like an ass.

so that's my moment.
please tell me yours is better....


  1. I adore this post.
    Feeling totally ass like over here tonight.
    Love knowing that all of us mothers are in this together.
    Here's to a better day tomorrow!

  2. I have the scary quiet voice, too, and always feel like a jerk after I use it. I feel like mine comes out when Daddy is out of town, too. It's really tough being the lone ranger.

    I'm glad that Jesus is enough for our kids and for us. I think it's mostly an illusion when it seems like we are.

    Thanks for a really honest framed <3

  3. adore it! that's so very very real as a mama of 3, 6 and under i know this moment! xxx

  4. does this happen every Friday...would love to take part! xxxx

  5. Ugh! Not fun. But this is the reality sometimes, right?! Thanks for sharing. It's good to know I'm not the only one who doesn't always have a "fairytale" bedtime with the kiddos too. Keep On :)

  6. i love your honesty. i have ass moments quite often, especially when i hear my kids say something that sounds as if it came right out my mouth. ouch. When i feel that way i'm sure thankful that God's arms are always open.

  7. Gosh dangit I love you!
    That totally made me cry because it is so true in my own life--every part of it, mothering, my marriage, with my parents, with my home, all of it.
    Thank you for being real.
    Love from,

  8. you just became my hero of the day!

    wow, so brave, to not only write about it but to photograph it too - makes the moment even more real. and you stopped to photograph - which tells me you are bigger than the pain - you were able to "rise above" it..and turned it into a i-don't-want-to-but-must- learning moment.

    you ROCK.

  9. I wish I could have come over bc you know I would have. with DC even.
    and one day i'll participate with your moment game. I like it.

  10. I have these moments.
    Thanks for sharing that you do too.

    Honestly? I think the walking out and sort of "giving up" is exactly what makes us better moms.
    Cause it's in those moments we realize we aren't, like you said, enough. And never will be.
    We need him. Like really really need him.
    It's in those moments of recognizing our need that we are exactly where he wants us.

    And then we get up and move on, and we become better moms for it.