frame this moment

i don't feel very relaxed lately

but that doesn't stop life, does it?

life is still beautiful whether or not i notice.

but, when i am just not having much left over at the end of the day, 

when i have given all my energy up helping everyone with everything, 

i do try to just see some thing beautiful that happened.

to not over-think the little moments and wish for more, but to frame them in my mind.

and then to try and just sleep it off.

and thank God for new days.

and maybe possibly suggest, to Him, a few days where i am not sweaty, getting grey hair, breaking out, grouchy, and exhausted.

just a thought.

but what do i know.

nothing really.

dreamin'

i'm dreamin'

what do ya think?

prints by everythingisjake

outdoor curtains

mason jar tiki torches

ceiling fans in every room

this little hammock hanging on my porch

this light fixture in my kitchen

these colors all around 

dreamy dreamy dreamy

don't you just wanta never wake up...

some things that we do

somethings that we do:

walk across the street to "our beach" for recess

wiggle and wiggel and wiggle loose teeth

love our "guys"

find our "beach style"....where oh where can i find the lady version of these????

treat ourselves after a long days work

snuggle and snuggle and snuggle

shower outside...i am definitely getting one of these in our next house. it's a miracle i tell you.

"snack stations" for math, writing, reading, computer, and marker drawing

yes, this week i feel like i rounded a corner.

i am SLOWLY but surely finding my stride.

i think the prospect of our new home really helps me.

i had spent a long amount of time having where we were going as a real mystery.

and now, i feel like just having a general idea of where we will be is such a relief.

we can do it

i"m feeling a stronger today.

it's been a hard week.

a lot has to do with that reedo was gone and working on the mainland for most of it.

so during my second week in a new place i was alone in a strange house and neighborhood with my tiny children.

but i am feeling super happy that he's home 

and it's the weekend and we are going to take them to kailua tomorrow 

and we will be happy and together.

happy weekend friends.

movin' on

i want to start by telling you thank you for your encouragement and kind words.

i am by myself over here, so far.

i have been so busy with just making sure my kids are transitioning and not melting down.

interacting with other grown ups is not number one for me yet.

i mean, we haven't even known what city we will end up in.

so, having your words and interaction is kinda keeping me sane, even though i can't really even respond to most of you.

just know i am so very grateful for your support.

also, i AM definitely planning to invest in getting connected with real live people as soon as we know where we will live. 

but for now, we had a good solid zoo day.

it was exhausting but good.

just like a zoo day should be.

we finished learning dividing three digit numbers with a lot of sweat and tears 

we read our beginning reader ten times

we struggled through our second grade reading comprehension papers

and then we headed for the beach.

this little cove is my new favorite beach for when i'm on my own with the kids.

it's not crowded and it seems like mostly locals and it has no waves so i don't stress about ella.

but then there is a wavy part too that had tide pools!

perfect, huh?

our time at the beach today was good.

i really needed that.

i spent the morning really stressing on homeschool stuff.

not hard things just new things that take a lot of my effort and make me feel like i'm not doing anything well.

just makes me realize how comfortable i was.

i guess stirred up is the way things are supposed to be now.

i'm not saying i like it.

i'm just saying i realize it.

and in other news, we are in escrow for a house!

i am so grateful.

but also holding lightly, as you do while in escrow...

and pinning house ideas like nobody's business, obviously.

click on my pinterest button on the side bar and take a look at my "hawaii" and "SCHOOL" boards.

what do ya think?

oh hey

oh hey

so it's time to get real.

i am beat.

this whole "moving my family to hawaii and also learning to educate them at the same time" thing is very very hard.

i mean it.

i've never done anything like it.

there are OF COURSE beautiful things about it.

that's the way i survive.

and i'm sure the word "survive" even seems dramatic.

but that's how it feels, at times.

the way i take my life in and interpret it has become a bit wrapped up in my way of taking little still lives of the gifts sent my way.

even when it's as simple as a loaf of bread.

or tuning a guitar

we've had some good days.

we live in a beautiful place.

and those two things don't necessarily relate to each other.

we have had some pretty bad days in this beautiful place, too.

and i trust that if you or i lived in a place that we hated, god (in his mercy) could send us beauty anyway.

it's really sorta a funny deal.

to be sent to a place that a majority of people would think was a dreamy vacation.

and then feel like we're almost supposed to live a vacation to enjoy it.

but.

we're not on vacation.

my husband has to pass the waves as he goes into his office and i have to try and remember how to do long division in front of my skeptical nine year old even though all the kids would rather be a the beach across the street.

there are so many things i need to do.

register my car 

figure out where to grocery shop

find a home

do the dishes

and keep my kids from killing each other

put together christmas presents

it's just pretty crazy

so much to be grateful for and at the same time i can barely manage it.

but life goes on.

ella is becoming quite the singer and she will. not. stop.

we've had a couple recesses at the beach

yes, that's pretty great.

ella tried out the hula

the kids and i are messily figuring out how to get anything done when everyone has so many questions.

and i need to be able to do my jobs too.

we had a good weekend of exploring waikiki

despite the very high and excited expectations.

you know what i mean, right?

(there was just a very intense build up for that experience and it's probably a miracle that we survived)

today we are working extra hard so we can feel good about taking a trip to the zoo tomorrow.

and i am praying that i can just stay positive.

i am trying so hard

and i am also disciplining myself to extend myself grace.

these sweet pictures are what i want to remember and my way of acknowledging the gifts and beauty all around me, in spite of the incredible amount of work that it all is.

thanks for your encouragement.

i really need that right now.

that and a full time maid or servant or something.