Ella and I went to the mission. I love it there.
It is very peaceful and when you go at the right time, not crowded.

She had fun running around and I had fun taking pictures of her. You will notice that she doesn't love being photographed...which sadly doesn't stop me. Pictures of her are usually her looking pouty and annoyed (which... HA! are just as cute if not cuter than those fake smiles that my older boys sometimes think are needed when the camera appears).

My daughter is an ever blooming mystery to me. I know God will reveal to me how to be a good, graceful mommy to this girl, but I have NO IDEA how.
With my boys I can see a little more clearly(at this moment) my place. I took Jake to the mission today, too and he surprised me by being VERY interested in all of the small chambers and the cemetery and the giant ruin. We were on a date, and he and I had just sat at the bar at Ruby's and shared a milkshake. We played a funny little game that Leslie gave me where you pushed down a plastic alligator's teeth until one of them made him bite your finger. We added that if you lost and got bitten you had to say a nice thing about the other person. He was so good at it. Such a little gentleman and thinking of things that I did not think he noticed. I was teaching him how to be on a "date" and he was showing me that he sorta already new.....these little guys need just simple guidance on how to treat a woman's heart and it seems so simple now.
Ella, on the other hand, seems so much more complex. Maybe because I have such a hard time figuring myself out, I find her femininity a giant looming mystery.
I pray that God will help me understand my own complexities and reasons why I am who I am, so that I will have to ability to counsel her through hers....please God!
For now I will try not to worry about it, knowing that she and I, both WILL be provided for. I am going to try to go to the mission more often, I think.
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding, in all of your ways listen to him, and HE will make your path straight."
God knows every tiny thing about my beautiful daughter's heart and WILL make my path straight if I can have enough discipline to not steal His show and think my own understanding is the the answer, but listen to Him.

1 comment:

  1. It is impossible to see your new pics, read your thoughts on parenthood and listen to THAT song without being teary and believing I am watching some beautiful documentary! Well, I guess I am. So many beautiful things all at once, starting from your heart, which really originates from the Lord's beauty. I get it. This is worship. Thanks friend.