mommy. boot. camp.
MBC
i didn't think of people.
other, much wiser and a bit more seasoned mothers did.
and really who FIRST thought of it?
it's just re-training yourself and your kids with good parenting, right?
it's not being lazy.
so here's how it goes...at my house.
1. make up a sign of rules and a new job chart to get the summer off to a good start.
they don't have classroom responsibilities, so they can certainly help around here!
2. pump them up about how you will be expecting them to listen to you and obey you during mommy boot camp.
by the time the first week of summer came here, my kids were so exited and actually anxious to get started.
3. make GREAT summer reward systems and restraints.
this is key to keep your sanity.
FIRST THING is that mommy boot camp is MOSTLY about MOMMY!
mommy must stick to her guns, dude!
follow through EVERY TIME.
it's better for everyone...you know it's true.
my rule is that my kids must listen and obey me when i'm talking.
basic right?
and also they need to respond.
with "yes mom"
(are you cringing?)
that's how i grew up.
and it avoids the more attitudey, "OOOKKKKKAYYY"
and when they don't.
i don't get mad (ideally)
they get a calm penalty box.(same as time out: removed from activity and talking for as many minutes as they are old)
a consequence.
no lecture
(they knew it was the rule, they are not babies anymore)
no browbeating or yelling.
(this is KEY. you are not doing anyone a service by freaking out)
just serve your time.
it's boring.
when you misbehave, you are rewarded with boring.
if i do this.
really, do it and don't give in or get lazy....IT REALLY WORKS!
this summer we have tickets.
tickets buy extra cartoons, time on my ipad or phone and wii time.
they earn tickets by my good grace.
if someone does an extra chore without being asked.
if someone is especially helpful or respectful.
if someone handles a conflict well...
you know, when they do what's right.
they get a ticket.
they can also get tickets taken if i am at a place where i can't do a penalty box, but this is not a threat i want to bark (oh, but i have failed at times)
it is a simple consequence whispered in an ear.
and an encouragement to earn it back ASAP.
grace has it's place here.
how can your child see what grace is unless you first set the boundary.
they need to see what's expected and see the consequences for disobedience and then when you feel, in your heart, that you are called to show them grace they will know what that means.
they will know what they deserve and what they are NOT getting this time....that's grace.
we also have LEGO/ princess bucks (respectively)
they are for a day of chores accomplished.
that evening if people have done their family jobs
(teeth, bed made, room clean, dishes taken in, clothes in the wash...the basics)
they get the lego buck.
if not, not.
and also extra bucks can be given for a CRAZY good thing.
(like babysitting your 3 year old sister while mommy applies first aide to the 6 year old)
so, there.
the bucks add up, baby and they use um to get.....LEGOS or princess stuff! surprise!
here are my boys reaping the benefits....
my kids are not perfect.
neither am i.
but these first few weeks of summer have been better for all of us with MBC
they are happily responding with "yes mom" (most of the time)
people are exclaiming about them at antique stores.
( i only went for ONE THING with all three kids, i'm not crazy!)
people give them free stuff at stores.
it's weird and crazy the response you get from strangers when you are really parenting.
jake asked if we could do it ALL the time after the "free stuff" experience...
my kids thrive on a certain amount of predictability and reasonable expectations and this provides it... and is somehow fun for them.
they are proud.
i am proud.
and grateful to God for putting other mother's in my life to go before and alongside me.
for giving me a mother who showed me how to behave and gave me boundaries and then loved me no matter what.
i want to do that too.
the very last rule is
GRACE FOR YOU.
grace to you little mommas and daddies.
you won't be perfect at this.
i am not perfect at this.
i am trying my hardest to be a good mom.
and sometimes i really stink.
but then i give myself a break and get back on track.
if you fail, don't let that be the excuse to give up.
don't get sucked down into shame...
KEEP TRYING.
you can do it!
your children will thank you...someday.
